Thursday, January 21, 2010

Let 'er Rip!

I have had a lot of weird dreams.

I have been pregnant three times and that random "wacky, vivid dreams" side effect hit me hard each time.


When I was pregnant with Libby, my vivid dreams had something of an...erotic angle! Yep, I had sex dreams almost every night. Vivid sex dreams.

And unfortunately my sweet husband who wasn't puttin' out at the time because he was so freaked out by my big belly was not always the star of those dreams.


Pretty much any guy that happened to cross my path during any given day had the potential to pop into my head while unconscious. I am talking coworkers, friends of my husband, the husbands of my friends, the UPS guy, that teenage boy helping his little sister sell girl scout cookies in my neighborhood...oh yeah,it was bad! These dreams were a source of serious (secret) embarrassment for me until I confessed my imaginary sins to a good friend of mine and she laughed hysterically told me that it happened to her too.

Whew!

Good to know I am not the biggest freak on the planet. Because I was really starting to feel like a perve!

Thankfully once I stopped being pregnant the dreams stopped as well. And even better, that particular brand of dream did not make a repeat performance during my next two pregnancies.


When I am not pregnant, my dreams are usually pretty random and jumbled and forgotten almost immediately. But every once in a while I will have a dream that is so real and vivid that I immediately take a pregnancy test when I wake up I have trouble remembering that it was just a dream.


Like the one I had a few nights ago...


In my dream, I was at bible study. Totally normal. All the regular people were there. Condoleeza Rice and Axl Rose were not in attendance so really there was nothing about this dream that triggered my sleeping brain to realize that it was in fact a dream. It could not have been more mundane and boring.


And then the dream became a nightmare...

I leaned forward to make a note in my book and as I did so, I let one rip! And it was loud! There was an audible gasp from the group and all I could do was shrug and say "sorry."


And then I woke.

And spent the entire rest of the day trying to decide whether it was just a dream or whether I really did fart during bible study.


And to be honest, I am still not sure whether my worst nightmare actually was just my worst nightmare. It still gives me the shudders!


Anyone reading this that was at bible study and would like to clear the air my name, feel free to do so.

Thanks!




This post was inspired by the writing prompts from:

Mama's Losin' It


25 comments:

Elizabeth a.k.a. Type A Mommy said...

Too funny, thanks for the laugh this morning! I'm sure it was just a dream. Or at least pretty sure. :) Stopping by from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Ohmygosh thanks for the laugh. Should I buy stock in EPT?

Jade said...

Hehe this post is so funny. At least your first pregnancy dreams weren't nightmares! I also have really vivid dreams and sometimes it's not until the afternoon that I realise the thing I think happened yesterday was really a dream.

Sometimes I'll say something to my boyfriend like 'did you manage to sort the boiler' and he'll be like why what's wrong with it and I'll say 'remember the light kept flashing and you were trying to fix it' and he's just like what are you talking about - it's really freaky!

I also talk in my sleep a lot but that's a whole other post!
Jade

Mama B said...

Too funny! Those dreams are so terrifying to mean, the ones that feel so real...seriously I wake up and my heart is pounding...and I am so confused!

Oh and your pregnancy dreams...yep had them here too...only hubby loves it and wants to know everyday "did I have a dream" it's so annoying!

Thanks for the laugh!

Kmama said...

That is hilarious!!

Both times I was pregnant, I would dream about the one exboyfriend that had been a large part of my life. It always freaked me out!

Kelli said...

This post made me laugh out loud.

Morgan said...

LOL! Don't worry, it was definitely a dream. Although it would have been funny if you had let one scoot out during bible study last week.

Hey, there's always a chance you might let one slip tonight. Maybe I'll sit on the other side of the room. JK!

blueviolet said...

I seriously laughed for 3 minutes over this post. I literally have tears coming down my cheeks. It all began with the line (I immediately take a pregnancy test when I wake up).

You are rockin' my morning with laughter! Thank you!

Jen said...

This is so funny. When I was pregnant with the triplets I had vivid sex dreams all the time!

Jenny said...

Oh my goodness that was hilarious.

The Psycho Mama said...

Hehe, sexy pregnancy dreams are TOTALLY normal!

On an unrelated note, your kiddos are pretty darn cute!

Jules said...

I had really weird dreams when I was pregnant too. I once gave birth to a litter of kittens...

Emily said...

LOL. You seriously have the weirdest dreams. I loved hearing about all your crazy pregnancy dreams.

Jenn said...

Wow, that's pretty vivid. I hate when you have those dreams and you aren't sure if it is real, but you certainly feel as if it were. Funny stuff, though!

Angie S said...

Baahhhh....so freakin' funny. I can't stop laughing!

shortmama said...

Too funny! I had the same types of sex dreams when I was pregnant with my oldest...you are not alone!

Ashley said...

So that's what that noise was the other night! :)

Summer said...

I am in TEARS right now! LOL! That is just too funny girl...TOO funny!

I have very vivid dreams too...and a lot of the time, I am aware that I'm dreaming, so I'll make whatever I want to happen actually happen! It's fun controlling dreams... ;)

(I like to fly a lot in my dreams too...hehe)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

That is awesome! I am cracking up!

Mrs. NB

~ M ~ said...

OMG your dreams are crackin me up almost made me spit my coffee LOL. Great entry (and dreams!) ;)

Cyndi said...

Hahahaha! I can assure you it wasn't in ANY of your studies! Lauren, you crack me up! I know I can always count on your blog to turn my attitude around!

Emmy said...

Lol! I am pregnant right now, and I started off the first trimester with some dirty dreams... and now I am having nightmares every night. I would rather go back to the dirty ones.

Rachel said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am so cracking up at your vivid dream and I hope for your sake it was just a dream!

thanks for the giggles!

Krystyn said...

Okay..so do you have something to tell us?

BabeeLove said...

ROTFL! When I was pregnant - I never dreamt of my children, just had nightmares about everything but kids...oh and maybe some sex dreams LOL