You have been on my mind a lot lately. (And by a lot, I mean like a high school girl with an obsessive crush. If it were possible I would be calling you repeatedly and hanging up and then driving by your house six times in a row! Seriously, I can't get you off of my mind.)
Why have I been thinking about you so much?
Well, it's like this...for the last nine months you have done a bang up job of keeping things closed up tight and my unborn baby safe. You are a very competent cervix and I am giving you an A+ for effort so far.
But I fear that in your diligent concentration on the task at hand, you may have failed to look at the calendar. You see, there is a step 2 to your job description. At the end of nine months you are supposed to open the gates and let the baby out! And well, it's time! We're crossing the finish line, the turkey is cooked, you are cleared for take off, geterdone, etc.
Now I know what you are thinking and don't worry! I fully intend to have a stern talking to with uterus about the wimpy contractions she has been throwing out lately. You and I both know that is not going to get the job done. This is a team effort and it is time to start working together! If not for me, then do it for your good friend va-jay-jay. She always bears the brunt of the childbirthing abuse and she is really hoping for a rip-free delivery this go round! Do you think we can give that to her? It will require some concentrated effort on your part. Don't forget that with each moment that passes, that kid's head is rapidly approaching the size of a small watermelon!
Let me leave you with one final thought: Dr. G has lost all confidence in your ability to pull this off on your own. That's right, it's been scheduled! Come 5:00am on Thursday, if you haven't done your job, Pitocin is stepping in and taking over! Do you remember how unpleasant that was the last two times? Yeah, me too! So, work hard for the next 36 hours and maybe you can finally earn some bragging rights!
This morning my sweet Emma Jane through a royal fit! Brad came into the bathroom while I was getting ready to tell me that EJ was in timeout.
"What did she do?"
Apparently, Emma Jane got really mad that her poptart broke. (I know, breakfast of champions!) So in her anger, she ran into the living room to daddy and threw it on the floor at his feet. Brad picked it up and took it back into the kitchen. Emma Jane then balled up her hands into fists, shook them out in front of her and growled at Brad! Then she followed him into the kitchen and swiped Libby's half eaten poptart off the table and onto the floor!
So Brad put her in the time out chair to cool off. She is completely unrepentant! Who would have guessed that underneath that angelic face lived so much pent up rage! Lord, help me!!
Libby and Emma Jane both love makeup!! And thanks to my Aunt Martha, they have several old makeup bags filled with real makeup! Most of the colors they have are in the navy blue to charcoal black range so they usually wind up looking bruised rather than made up, but since it keeps them out of my makeup I don't mind! And honestly I think it is cute when Libby puts black eyeshadow on her cheeks! It is just another way that my girls are trying to be like mommy.
And Emma Jane even uses makeup to try to be like Daddy!
Today was Libby's first day back to school after Spring Break, which for some reason automatically meant I was running late. Then the monsoon started just as I finished buckling the kids into the car. As I pondered what fun fun it was going to be to drive to school in this lovely weather, I realized that I am totally out of gas!! Luckily, my husband keeps several small gas cans in the garage for his lawn mower. So half a gallon later, we were off. I managed to back out of my twisty driveway without killing too many of Brad's plants or hitting the neighbor's trash cans that were blowing down the street. Libby got to school safe and sound and EJ and I headed back home since my plans for going to the park were dashed by the rain. It was a rather sad morning. We couldn't go run any errands (because who wants to that in the rain!), we couldn't play outside or go for a walk. Even TV was out because PBS was "experiencing technical difficulties due to severe weather in the area."
So instead, we played with blocks. For over an hour. It always amazes me that the repetitiveness of stacking blocks and knocking them down never gets boring to a two-year-old! I, of course, was bored after five minutes. I really need a better rainy day plan! I don't mind just being at home and playing with my girls, but being stranded makes me stir crazy. And uncreative! What do you do on rainy days?
A lot of people hate the big purple dinoaur, but he really doesn't bother me. When Libby was around two and half I realized she knew all about the five senses. But I didn't know where she had learned that. Then a few days later I realized that week's episode of Barney was about the five senses. So I thought, hey if my kid is learning something then that is thirty minutes well spent! Plus it gives me time to take a shower!
As the years have gone by I have come to realize that while Barney might make my kids smarter, he is definitely making me stupider! Because, with the exception of Gossip Girl and Smallville, which we know is draining brain cells, I don't really watch other TV.
Every once in a while, Brad will ask me "so do you even know what is going on in the world?"
And the more kids I have, the dumber I get! This third baby is completely robbing me of all intelligent thought lately. I can't even remember what day it is most of the time! Like, turns out today is Friday! Which usually means a Photo Story Friday blog post. And for the second time in a row I have forgotten. I am not even sure where my camera is right now!
I promise one day, my blogging will get back to normal but it may not be until after baby#3 vacates the premises! There is really no point to this post. It really doesn't even have anything to do with what I started with. I am just sick of being pregnant! I want this kid out of me! And it just makes me tired that I still have three more weeks left!
So last week I got so many comments about the maternity picture I posted, I thought I would share a few more with you and give some credit where it is due! Because, you know, as much as I love being told how beautiful I am, most of the credit for that incredible photo belongs to my incredible photographer, Luke Beck.
Over the years, since Libby was born, I have used lots of different photographers to try and capture every milestone and precious moment. I have had pictures taken at Walmart, those one-hour mall "studios", department stores, and by professional (over-priced, over-egoed) photographers. I have discovered that a good photographer is worth his (or her) weight in gold!
With a cooperative subject and the right lighting, it really isn't hard to take a nice picture. Which is how Walmart and the Picture People stay in business. But at the end of the day, all you really have is a nice picture. (Don't get me wrong! I treasure many of those nice pictures!) But Luke went beyond just trying to take a nice picture to capturing a moment and an emotion on film. (Plus, he made this gigantic preggo woman totally feel like a model! Move over, Nigel Barker! Seriously if I was ten years younger and ten inches taller, I would so be trying out for ANTM!)
Luke also made the experience enjoyable by really listening to what I wanted out of the pictures and experimenting until we got it, rather than following a formula of safe poses. Which resulted in two of my favorite photos from the day:
He was also patient with my children when they wanted to join in the fun. Or when trying to escape, as the case may be:
But the best part is that Luke just loves taking pictures and because of that, I think he takes awesome pictures! At the end of our session, he said "I wish we had a little more time." (Of course Brad was standing off to the side saying "dude, we have tee time. Let's go!) Yeah, Luke is a family friend so I am more than a little biased, but I think his photos speak for themselves!
You can check out more of Luke's work at his website. And if you happen to be in the Central Florida area and need a photographer, look no further!
I am not a totally awesome husband, deserving of many accolades!
I did not agree to take my wife to the theater simply because I know she loves it! And I did not tell her that she could pick out any show she wanted to see and that I would gladly go with her. She did not choose Celtic Woman. (Anybody else out there never heard of that? Just in case, it is those singing Irish girls I catch my wife watching on PBS now and then. And just so you know it is not pronounced like the basketball team, so I have been told!)
I was not told by my wife that the last time I took her to such an event was the night I proposed to her. I would never let six years go by without feeding my wife's love of all things artsy fartsy the performing arts. I am more cultured than that!
I did not endured thoroughly enjoy an evening of music I couldn't understand. I did not spend the first half of the concert trying to decipher whether the songs were in English or Gaelic. No, those very talented girls sang with perfect enunciation and in octaves heard by people as well as dogs!
I did not also amused myself by making fun of their one and only dance move, a very catchy side-to-side sway. I was not super impressed when they threw in some shoulder rolls in the final number!
I did not perk up every time the leggy fiddle player ran onto the stage. I was not secretly waiting for her to trip over her dress as she jumped around.
The highlight of the evening was definitely not the guy in the lobby wearing a kilt. I mean, he wasn't even part of the show. Just another patron of the arts, enjoying the concert in a skirt kilt. I certainly did not get a kick out of his brave fashion statement.
Afterwards, we did not end the date Brad-style, with a second dinner. No way, we ate before the concert! Two dinners in one date would be gluttonous!
The whole evening was not completely worth it, simply because my wife loved it!
This morning I was talking to my mom and I made the comment that I am never going to darken the doorway of a Target store ever again! My mother was slightly appalled and replied, "That is a pretty strong statement. You know you are hormonal, right?"
Yes, I am insanely hormonal right now, but I stand by my statement. I hate Target!! And here is why: Target is a snob and has gotten way too big for it's britches!! Target seems to have forgotten that it is an all-in-one discount store! Target is under the impression that it is better than Walmart!
News Flash: Target, you are not better than Walmart!
Cleaner? Yes Better? NO!
I went to Target yesterday to buy picture frames for baby #3's room. First of all, Target did not have 8x10 white frames. Seriously? Second, the black frames they had were A. plastic and B. 20 bucks! for PLASTIC!! Wooden frames were closer to $30!!
I left and went across the street to Walmart. (With two small, bored children, btw!)
Now, I also hate Walmart and always have. I think Walmart is dirty, dingy, disorganized and (at least where I live) the employees don't speak English! But I went anyways! Now, Walmart's frame selection was not much better but they were cheaper. The same frame was only $10 at Walmart. But I still didn't buy any because they were cheap and ugly and not what I was looking for. I left the store frustrated and yes, hormonal! I might have cried a little.
Today, I went to Michael's and found exactly what I wanted!! Three white, wooden 8x10 wall frames. They were $14.99, but for actual wood I was fine with that price! So wasn't it a pleasant surprise when I got up to the register and each frame was 50% off. Only $7.49 each!!
So I have decided. I will never return to Target! There is nothing I need that has to be bought at Target. And honestly, I really just don't like all-in-one stores. I think it is unnatural to be able to buy groceries and clothing from the same store. So really, for me, I am not missing much!
Good bye, Target! And good riddance!
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I am married to the love of my life, Brad, and am a homeschooling mama to our four children, Libby, Emma Jane, John and Jami. I am so blessed by the family God has given me. My life is never the same two days in a row! It is totally chaotic, sometimes frustrating, full of laughter and I wouldn't trade it for anything!