When Emma Jane was born, Libby didn't really take the intrusion very well. Her friend Jack Powell said it best (in reference to his own little sister): "Mom, when are you going to take the baby back to that hospital where she lives?"
Her jealousy manifested itself in destructive behavior and tantrums. It was the worst when I was nursing and Libby knew I could not immediately jump up to get her. If she ran out of sight while I was feeding the baby, something was most likely being destroyed. I think Emma Jane was over a year old before Libby stopped viewing her as the usurper to the throne.
Or at least by that time, she didn't remember Emma Jane not being here anymore and she just got over.
I was prepared when John was born to deal with the jealousy from Emma Jane. But it never came. No (unusual) tantrums or destruction. In fact, she really seemed to adore John right from the start. I was thrilled by this unexpected turn of events and just assumed that the lack of jealousy was due to never having been an only child.
And then one evening while having dinner with friends, my friend Tammy says to me, "I don't know how you do that. Every time I see you nursing John, Emma Jane is sitting on your lap too." I thought about that statement for a minute and I realized that she was right. 9 times out of 10, when I sit down to nurse the baby Emma Jane is right there trying to crawl into my lap too.
"I guess you are right. I have never really thought about it."
And then my friend hits me this: "She is probably just jealous of the attention John is getting."
Could it have been more obvious?
Of course she is jealous! I just didn't realize it, because it was manifested differently than with Libby. And the more I thought about it, the more examples I found.
Emma Jane never took a paci as a baby. Never! But shortly after John was born, she claimed own of his as her own. She doesn't suck on it, but she likes to carry it around in her mouth and sleep with it in her bed. She also climbs into the baby gear, such as the swing, exersaucer and bumbo. And even though she was never a snuggly baby before, she wants to snuggle all the time now.
She just wants to be the baby again.