Friday, November 27, 2009

Letter of intent - the tooth fairy's evil twin

Letters of Intent

For more Letters of Intent, check out Foursons



Dear John's First Tooth,

We have been waiting for you for a while now. Almost three months actually. You first started dropping hints that your arrival was eminent when my sweet baby was just 4 months old. At the time, I thought that was a little premature, but what do I know. I'm just his mother.


As time went on, the hints got heavier. No longer was it just the buckets and buckets of drool and the biting. Now his gums were swollen and red and he wasn't complete without something in his mouth to chew on. Then came Niagara Falls out of his nose. Surely you couldn't be far behind. And yet day after day, week after week goes by with no sign of you.


Now I love a snotty nose rubbed on my shoulder as much as the next mommy, but really...enough is enough! It is one thing to be fashionably late but it is entirely another to RSVP and then just not show up. My son and I do not appreciate being stood up!

As I have comforted my baby these last weeks, assuring him that it isn't him, it's you, I have come to a conclusion...

Either you are just a sadistic creep that enjoys torturing my son with buckets of drool, swollen gums and a runny nose

OR

you have been kidnapped by the tooth fairy's evil twin and are desperately sending out an SOS.

So which is it...do you need me to send out a rescue team or am I just going to have to kick your butt? Either way, I am coming in with a pair of pliers if you don't show up soon.


Sincerely,


a mommy, not a chew toy

7 comments:

Foursons said...

Awwww! Poor baby! And as soon as that tooth pops up and he feels better another comes around to take his place and create the havoc all over again. That poor baby! I hope he feels better soon and that your shirt can return to an article of clothing from the snot rag it is now.

Thanks for linking up!

Brandi said...

Oh, the drool and the snot... Mine finally got his first tooth last month. Now, we go through all the drool and the snot and dealing with the bad attitude again as we wait on the second tooth. Good times. ;)

Honey Mommy said...

Hehe!

This totally reminds me of a letter that I wrote to tooth fairy last year! Since she collects the teeth, she must put them there in the first place, right?

Check it out if you want:

http://honey-mommy.blogspot.com/2008/11/dear-tooth-fairy.html

Emily said...

LOL! Too funny. I hope the chewing habit stops or you might need a band-aid for your boob! (I speak from experience!)

Vanessa said...

Hmmm, I feel like Kylan's life is always just a few weeks behind John's....Oh wait, it is! LOL

I feel your frustration, ALL of them. I hope it gets better soon. :(

Kelli said...

You tell it! I hope it shows up soon...the RSVP line made me laugh!

imbeingheldhostage said...

ooooh, I'm now thankful we're past this stage, I had nearly forgotten what it was like being gnawed to death.

Good luck with that stubborn tooth fairy.