Monday, October 12, 2009

Preschool Dropout

I am really not happy with Libby's preschool experience this year. Last year, school was wonderful. I was completely thrilled with her intro to formal education. She had a fabulous teacher and the best group of kids in her class.
This year...not so much.
It isn't the teacher. She seems very competent and Libby loves her.
It's the other little brats girls in her class. I feel like my daughter is going to school with Rachel McAdams and Lindsay Lohan.
It all started a few weeks ago when Libby started talking about Emma. Everyday she got into the car talking about playing with Emma. Then one day the conversation went like this:
Me- Libby, did you play with Emma today?
Libby- Yeah, Emma pushes me. (she said this completely matter-of-factly, not upset at all.)
Me- Oh, did she push you on the swing?
Libby- No, she pushes me when I try to follow her.
*Say what?*
Me- What do you mean?
Libby- She told me have to stay right here.
Since she wasn't upset, I thought maybe I was misunderstanding, so I let it go.
The next day, I hear that Emma was running away from Libby when Libby was trying to play with her.
The next day, Emma told Libby that what she had for lunch was gross and now Libby won't eat one of her favorite fruits anymore. (Kiwi, in case you were wondering.)
So I called the teacher. Her teacher told me (in not so many words) that Emma is an aggressive child. That is all well and good for Emma, but my daughter is the opposite of aggressive and I don't want her being bullied or bossed.
So I told Libby that if Emma didn't want to play with her it was okay to find someone else to play with. Libby spent another week trying to play with Emma. It deteriorated to the point where Libby asked Emma to sit with her at lunch and Emma flat out said no. Libby was really upset and so I finally told her that Emma doesn't sound like a very nice girl and that she should stop trying to be her friend.
So today, Libby tells me about her new friend, Elyse. And she tells me that she wants to give Elyse a present. So I tell Libby that she can draw a picture for Elyse.
No, Libby wants to give her a book. I tell Libby that we are not giving Elyse one of our books so she asks me to buy Elyse a book. I said no, that Libby could draw her a picture and my sweet girl bursts into to tears. I asked her why she was so upset about this and she tells me that she has to get Elyse a present.
"Why do you have to get Elyse a present? Is it her birthday?"
Oh no! Apparently, this little mean-girl-in-the-making told Libby that she would be her friend if Libby brought her a present! WTH!!!
I am just so upset for my baby! My daughter is FOUR! And she is cute and sweet and funny. And this is preschool, not Melrose Place! She should not be dealing with rejection right now.
I am seriously considering removing her from school immediately.


Angie S said...

OMG...seriously!?! That breaks my heart.

I don't know what I'd do. Layla is four and in preschool too and if this mess kept up I'd take her out. I'd ask to move her to another class, or another school all together.

Geez...bless your hearts.

Anonymous said...

So sorry. If you were going to next year anyways, maybe nows the time.

Kim said...

I've got to agree with anonymous on this one. But then again, you already know that.

I'd love to help in any way that I can! You can do it, I promise! :)

Ehrenfelds said...

Sorry to hear about Libby :(

You know I hate bullying and all that petty stuff. Can you have her change classes?

Staci said...

Are you kidding me?!!? What is up with that? I would be so upset and my heart breaks for Libby! What is up, they are four! What are these little brats gonna be like at 14! YIKES! I would so pull her!!!

Bren said...

I'm so sorry Libby is having to go through this all so soon. You'd think she was in high school or something! Poor thing! I would definitely check to see if there is another class. I would feel exactly the same as you if people (kids - little kids!) treated Maggie that way!

Vanessa said...

That's awful! I'm so sorry she's got such terrible classmates. Brayden's "best friend" at school Gabriel shared with him that someone had s.e.x in a bathroom so of course he asked me about it! I was beyond pissed! What's wrong with kids these days??

Emily said...

Ok, I'm coming down. Melody and EJ can go in there and take care of those brats. I'll take care of their mothers and Jack can comfort his betrothed, Libby.

shortmama said...

What is up with little kids these days? There is a girl in my oldests 2nd grade class that was doing the same thing with my daughters food even though she was eating the same thing. Then she told my daughter that she was mean because she was playing on the swing instead of the slide. My daughter got all upset about it and I told her the same as you and said she should just ignore her and not worry about what she says. Funny thing was that when Rhiannon stopped making any effort to be her friend then the girl started being nice again.

heidi said...

That is TERRIBLE! But honestly? Pulling her out won't teach her ANYTHING. It just won't. She's going to have to learn how to be HER and to deal with these stupid girls. It doesn't get any better or any easier. It sucks that our kids have to learn at such a young age, but they do. Girls are mean and the older grades aren't any easier. It's better that you teach her NOW how to deal with morons like this and how to have the self confidence to say, "I don't CARE what you think of me" than to try and teach her when she's 10.

Of course, this is only my opinion and can be disregarded as you see fit.

Cherry Family said...

Oh My! Libby is the sweetest thing ever! I can't imagine my boys going through that. I am so sorry. It is amazing what kids are learning SOOOO early these days. I hope it gets better soon.

Danielle said...

Lauren I will pray for you as you make this decision. Yes it is true Libby will have to learn to deal with it, but 4 is so young to deal with that. Bring her home. Atleast that is my opinion.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand....Sydney (age 3) came home and told me that "Mia said she's not my friend" - and then I hung around one morning to just observe and watched Sydney try so hard to "win" Mia over by offering her toys and trying to talk to her. And all Miss Mia did was curl her lip up and snarl her face. I told Sydney - "oh well, there are other nicer people in your class - you don't have to be friends with EVERYONE!!" As bad as we want them to not have to face struggles, they have to learn to fend for themselves and be confident regardless of the nasty people that they are exposed's just life really!!

Steph Pryor

Summer said...

You have GOT to be kidding me?!!! I have never heard of such horrible little children at such a young age! What is this world coming to? That's so sad....what are these parents teaching their children???

I'm seriously just so astonished and shocked.....I would feel the need to have a discussion with those parents....

Cindy said...

I am so sorry. I remember all the drama with my daughter and her friends. My boys don't seem to have issues. Boys may scuffle a little but then it is all good. Girls are just so much more catty.

Anonymous said...

As a former teacher i also feel sorry for the TEACHER! Can you imagine what her day is like.....This didn't happen to my child until first grade in a Christian school. It took some time and work but by the end of the semester she had discovered the girls that were like her. Teaching moment...then go beat the girls up!!!

blueviolet said...

This is just so disturbing. How can this type of thing even be going on at age 4? Your poor little darling!

imbeingheldhostage said...

The first time I stood in my son's preschool play area I was appalled at a little beast that ran up and took Aiden's toy and left. Aiden, very passive child, stood there like "Wow, that stinks", but never said a word to anyone. I was crushed (the boy really was and still is a beast, he's really aggressive)/ As it is, Aiden ended up drawing kind kids to him and his classmates and teachers love him. Those mean girls get theirs in the end, so I'd keep Libby in school and just continue to praise her when she displays great social behaviors. Oh, and maybe you can find out from the teachers who some of the nice girls are and invite them out on a play date so Libby can build friendships away from the pressured environment. Just a thought. It's that or let her take gifts of Nair 'shampoo' to those precious little girls ;-)

Krystyn said...

Wow! That's very upsetting.

John Deere Mom said...

Okay, I know from teaching 6th grade that 6th grade girls can be super mean...but 4 years old? That's terrible! I don't have good advice..I am just sympathizing with you! Good luck!

Denise said...

My 4 yr old has had similar issues with some of the girls at Sunday school....I'm glad she doesn't go to preschool.

I'm not looking forward to kindergarten either, I HATE brats!!!!

Please come by my blog, I've given you an award.

Bethany said...

Oh wow, how sad :( I'm a preschool teacher and I'd definitely try and mention it to the teacher again. Maybe she can direct Libby in the direction of some nice, sweet, normal 4 year olds to play with? Poor thing.