Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Is there an Olan Mills sign hanging on my door?

So yesterday morning, Brad comes to me and says, "Can you take a picture of me? I need a head shot for the new website."

Oh wait, let me set the scene...

It is 8:15, I am half-dressed with wet hair, a crying baby who needs to eat and go down for a nap on my hip, and two preschoolers running up and down the hallway shouting "You can't catch me!" at the top of their voices. And I currently hate The Gingerbread Man!

(In case it isn't obvious, I am not a morning person and usually don't respond to unscheduled request prior 12pm.)

So into this chaos walks my sweet husband with a seemingly simple request. But of course, nothing is simple with my man!

I (grudgingly) agreed to take a quick pic so that I can get on with my day. Brad goes back to the bedroom to get dressed and comes back out wearing half a suit. Apparently since all he wanted was a head shot, he didn't feel the need to get fully dressed.

He then stands in front of the narrow portion of blank wall in between the dining room windows and gives me the Chandler smile. (Libby totally got that from him!) I lovingly remind him to smile normally and then take a picture.

And then the complaining helpful hints start. First he tells me to back up so that I get more of his torso in the shot. I point out that our backdrop is less than three feet of wall and unless he wants it to be obvious that he is in the dining room, it is going to have to be a close up.

So then he looks at the picture I took and he isn't happy with the amount of wall above his head. I told him it could be cropped out, but he thinks that the picture will be better if I just hold the camera up little so that it is level with his face. People, I am a foot shorter than this man and only standing two feet away from him. I would have to hold the camera over my head! I point this out and he says that he just doesn't want the camera angle to be looking up at him because it will make his face look fat.

Seriously? Are you a girl?!

By this point, the chaos in the background has reached supersonic levels. My camera battery is dead and so is my patience. And then he comments on the shadows behind his head. My eyeballs almost popped out of my head! I said, "Dude, I am not Nigel Barker. (Went right over his head, btw.) I do not have professional lighting equipment or even a decent camera. But you know who does? Your brofriend, Luke! The professional photographer!"

Brad wisely apologized for being a butt head and asked me to email him what I got. When he got home from work later he tells, "Those pictures you took were terrible. I think I am just going to call Luke and have him take some head shots for me."

Gee, why didn't I think of that?
For more "life is funnier than fiction" moments, head on over to Once Upon a Miracle.


Theta om said...

The head shots should be good after all of that!

Kelli said...

So nice of him to repeat what you said as his own idea...too funny. I laughed at the fact that he came out in 1/2 a suit.

Just Stacy said...

yep, that's a man. Cute story, and odd that my true story tuesday story also mentions chandler bing hmmmm

Brandi said...

Oh, that is soooo something my husband would do. They never seem to realize we are BUSY. LOL! :)

Angie S said...

I love the title of this post!!

Funny story, sounds like something Gary would do too...HA!

Jennifer Haas said...

Your little guy sounds so funny. This was my first week to do True Stories Tuesdays.

You should check out my blog on Thuesday for "Things Kids Say", I bet your guys say the funniest things, you should link up.

Jennifer Haas said...

PS. I am a new follower now too.

shortmama said...

Oy vay...men.

Emily said...

Did he blow dry his hair first? (I know, I know, don't hit me!)
That's freaking hilarious. I wish you had posted one of the pictures!

Foursons said...

Hahahahahahhaha..."Are you a girl?" HILARIOUS!

So funny that he was so picky about his picture- that sounds EXACTLY like me and I make my hubby take 50 shots just to get one good one.

Cyndi said...

ok, I want to see this picture

Rachel said...

I am totally with your other commenters... you need to post the picture! :)

This had me cracking up from the first part of "not a morning person" madness all the way down to your husband's logic in only getting half-dressed (oh, if only men showed half that kind of thinking when say... loading the dishwasher or ???)

So... where's the pic? :)

Thanks for joining up - loved the laugh!

Rachel said...

Umm. yeah... new follower here :)

Kmama said...

That is too funny!! you know what I love? That we all know what the "Chandler smile" is without you having to explain it. I miss that show so much!!

And I'm like you, I function on routine only in the morning. Anything out of the ordinary and I melt down.