Dear Moron in the white Lincoln,
I just wanted to let you know that a valid drivers license is required to drive an automobile. I'm telling you this because you obviously have not passed a driver's education course or any type of road test.
In case you are unaware, Interstate 85 is NOT a two lane country road with double yellow lines. The dotted white lines in fact indicate that it is okay to pass a vehicle that is not driving fast enough to please you. You know, if 10 miles over the posted speed limit is considered not fast enough. It is certainly not necessary for you to try to climb into to my trunk. I am sure that we are not headed to the same destination and therefore would be a waste of time.
When you finally do decide to pass another car it is consider good etiquette to change lanes completely rather than straddling the white dotted line. Unless of course it is your intention to run me off the road.
I want you to know that I accept your heartfelt gratitude that my superior driving skills prevented the horrific collision you seemed intent on causing. But I absolutely do not accept your apology for causing the stream of obscenities that flowed from my mouth within earshot of my children.
In the future, please use your gas money to hail a cab.
Get off the road and stay out of my lane,
Mad Mom in a Minivan