Friday, August 7, 2009

@*()%$*$(*%$%)*$*()

Dear Moron in the white Lincoln,

I just wanted to let you know that a valid drivers license is required to drive an automobile. I'm telling you this because you obviously have not passed a driver's education course or any type of road test.

In case you are unaware, Interstate 85 is NOT a two lane country road with double yellow lines. The dotted white lines in fact indicate that it is okay to pass a vehicle that is not driving fast enough to please you. You know, if 10 miles over the posted speed limit is considered not fast enough. It is certainly not necessary for you to try to climb into to my trunk. I am sure that we are not headed to the same destination and therefore would be a waste of time.

When you finally do decide to pass another car it is consider good etiquette to change lanes completely rather than straddling the white dotted line. Unless of course it is your intention to run me off the road.

I want you to know that I accept your heartfelt gratitude that my superior driving skills prevented the horrific collision you seemed intent on causing. But I absolutely do not accept your apology for causing the stream of obscenities that flowed from my mouth within earshot of my children.

In the future, please use your gas money to hail a cab.

Get off the road and stay out of my lane,
Mad Mom in a Minivan

11 comments:

Jessie Kaitlin said...

I've been encountering a lot of these drivers on the road lately. Did everyone hold a vote to drive stupidly?

Vanessa said...

Why are the dumbest people always on the road?!?! I'm sure he'll be reading your letter any day now. :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

THIS is exactly why I think we should have little blinking message lights/notice board things on the backs of our cars. Mine would have a speed setting for the message:"Hey Moron, back off or watch me test my break lights-- I need a new paint job!"

Krystyn said...

I sure love the tailgaters!

Bren said...

It must be that time of year! I've already used the horn in my new car because of someone just like that.

Momisodes said...

Ugh. I HATE drivers like that. Glad you managed to avoid a collision with him.

Kelli said...

You tell him sister!

lisaschaos said...

Wondering if a cell phone was involved. That always ticks me off!

Margaret said...

I hate that. There are people who really don't need to be driving.

Emily said...

That's the ATL for you...we're like a mecca for the world's crappiest drivers. (I'm not one of them, however!)

JennyMac said...

Atlanta is FULL of jackass drivers. I swear I don't know how some of these people function. And get off your cell phone that you are holding by your shoulder to your ear while smoking AND driving. UGH.