Friday, June 5, 2009

Taking the Plunge...or Not

Today's post is about every preschooler's favorite topic: POOP! (The faint of heart or squeamish of stomach should probably just stop reading and come back tomorrow.)

Since becoming a mother I regularly talk about poop. I did not do this before. Prior to four years ago, I cannot recall one time that I sat around with my girl friends discussing the bowel movements of another person.

But since I have spent the better part of the last four years changing poopy diapers, it's bound to come up in conversation every once in a while.

Typical dinner time discussion in our house:

Brad: So honey what did you do today?
Me: Well, between our infant son, our unpotty-trained toddler and our potty-trained (but still not fully independent) preschooler, I wiped about 35 butts today. How about you?
Brad: Um, well...I only wiped my own butt, thank you.

(At this point Brad will silently begin shoveling food into his mouth while avoiding all eye contact with me in the hopes that I will not persist in this line of conversation. He falls into the squeamish category.)

Bowel issues are common among my children. When Libby was potty training, she was terrified of pooping on the potty. But she also didn't want to poop in her panties so she would hold it.

And hold it.

And hold it some more.

Until it was about the size of a baseball and rock hard and forcing its way out of her tiny little bottom. (Witnessing Libby go to the bathroom was like watching a small child give birth!) I eventually had to start giving her laxatives to make her go. She quickly realized that just going when the urge came was much easier and less unpleasant than having to take the "white medicine" and what came after. Problem solved.

EJ's issues are a little different. She just seems to have slow moving bowels. As an exclusively breastfed infant, she only pooped about once a week and she never had even one of those up-the-back-down-the-legs-blowout diapers. As a toddler she still doesn't go much. Once a day, tops, but usually every other or every third day. She isn't constipated, just slow. So you can imagine that since she only goes every few days, when she goes...she GOES!

Yesterday was a pooping day. After I had changed her, I took the dirty diaper into the bathroom, dumped the gigantic "dump" into the toilet and flushed.

It seemed to go away...

This morning, Libby went potty before getting dressed as always. When she was finished, she said to me "Um Mommy, the toilet paper didn't go away." I looked into the toilet and sure enough it was filling up with water. But there was nothing in it when she sat down to pee! After a few seconds I heard this gurgly popping noise and then all of the water in the toilet went down, but the toilet paper came back up again.

It was then that I realized that my daughter's seriously huge poop from the day before had in fact NOT been flushed away. It started to...and then got stuck just out of sight!

Now in my career as a mommy, I have been vomited on, pooped on, peed on and all host of other disgusting things. I can take all of that with out even gagging.

But just looking at a plunger is enough to give me the dry heaves!

Just as Suzanne Sugarbaker once said "The man should have to kill the bug!" I also believe "the man should have to plunge the toilet!"

But my man is currently out of town. So what did I do?

No, I did not plunge the toilet myself. Remember the dry heaves? Nope, I simply lowered the lid, told Libby that the toilet is broken and not to use it until Daddy can fix it.

Thankfully he comes home tonight!


Ehrenfelds said...


What more can I say?

Krystyn said...

Oh, the poop...for the love of all things bowel!

Don't be intimidated by the plunger!

steph said...

I think the smell would be worse than the plunger but I feel your pain. Things always happen when Scott is out flying!

Emily said...

Ok, LMAO. I'm totally with fact, I have no idea where Alex keeps the plunger!

Pam said...

That's too funny. Glad Brad wasn't gone like a whole week or something!