Thursday, January 15, 2009

Taking back the castle

Have you ever had one of those moments where you put your child on the changing table to change a poopy diaper and reach your hand into the diaper basket only to discover that you used the last diaper the last time you changed one? That's happened to me this afternoon, which is why I found myself making an emergency trip to Publix with two cranky kids at 4:30. I wish someone had been following me with a camera just so you could see me holding EJ in one arm and a giant box of Pampers in the other. Especially when I turned to say something to Libby and ended up smacking her in the face with the box of diapers I didn't know she was "helping" me carry! I almost started crying myself. It was one of those experiences that could happen to anybody and probably has happened to many and yet I couldn't help feeling like every eye in the place was on me and my crying children. I couldn't get out of there fast enough!

This morning at MOPS, the topic was about organizing your life, being productive instead of busy, and "taking back the castle" (i.e. your home.) I left feeling so motivated. By nature, I am a procrastinator and a clutter queen but I so want to organized and "together." I spent most of the afternoon being productive, but you know what? I still ran out of diapers, I still had to make an emergency run to Publix, I still had to handle a double meltdown with no free hands and I left feeling completely "untogether." So I have had a moment of clarity this evening: I don't need any more lessons on getting organized. Because I already know what to do. I have read the books and heard the talks. I am completely ready for tomorrow: I have my list made, deposit slips filled out and directions printed. I am ready to go. And while that makes me more organized, it doesn't make me a better mother, or wife, or person. Letting go of the self-imposed pressure and being content with the life and trials and gifts that God has given me will. I am going to try to cut down on the clutter and stacks, because I am sure that will reduce my stress level and the frequency that I perform my frantic, flight-of-the-bumblebee-like search for whatever. But I am also going to challenge myself not to get caught up in trying to be perfect. No one is perfect. It is all about balance!

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